"B.G." <mdpine DeleteThis @nospam.bright.net> wrote in message
news:CIadnQHiO7QVjL7dRVn-hw@bright.net...
> Hey All:
>
> A friend of mine asked me to do a critique of his website, but I'm afraid
I
> wasn't able to do the request much justice. It's hard to critique a
website
> of someone you are close to. Anyway, if you could go to
<a style='text-decoration: underline;' href="http://www.ironhedllc.com" target="_blank">www.ironhedllc.com</a>
> and begin the process of constructive criticism for this proud new
> "webmaster", I will grab your comments and dutifully pass them along and I
> greatly appeciate everyone's help on this. Thanks!
First, we'll cover the "Overall"
Typos... "Corporate Headquaters" is on every page in the bar on the left of
the page
Toll Free phone number... its broken up over 2 lines... personally I hate
seeing that
Logo: "HOLY MOLY! ITS HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE" comes to mind
Navigation bar: It looks weak and ugly. I think a non-serif font would look
better there. You might look in to CSS to give it some kind of hover effect
too
Overall look and feel: Overall it looks pretty amature to me and lacks
imagination. The color scheme isn't very appealing.
Content: I'm on the home page and I see a pair of sprockets and a little bit
of info... but I can't find anything on sprockets on the site... and I have
to look over it a few times to figure out what these guys actually do/sell
Corporate Headquaters: This is on the home page and on every page... yet
there is a "field sales" link where I can find the nearest person to me...
so I have to wonder: If I wanted to buy sprockets off these guys... do I
call the head office or a sales office? I'd presume head office since the
contact info is on every page it must be important to have... but if thats
the case, why have the sales office info on there?
This should be on a "CONTACT US" or "ABOUT US" page. (see below)
Now to go page by page:
HOME:
-- first thing I notice: HUGE text and no content. This is the page that I
see first... its whats supposed to draw me in to get me to look around the
site. I don't see anything here like: "Ironhed, LLC... manufacturer of
fine sprockets!"
-- Eric Hall's picture: its there... is that him? Couldn't you get a better
picture? The point is: that picture could be anybody, but its got a caption
so its supposed to be somebody... instead I see a guy bent over and I
couldn't even see his face if I blew the picture up 100 times. Should have
a pic of the guy standing there either in work clothes or a suit and tie,
maybe holding whatever it is they sell and a big smile on his face.
FMP:
-- Finally some content! Woot woot!
Problem is... I still don't quite follow what they do there... first
paragraph is:
"Ironhed, LLC presents the Flanged Maintenance Pipe Conduit Repair System
(FMP system). This system is constructed of rugged 10 gauge galvanized
steel, so field splices are easily made with a standard 1 1/2 inch wrench, a
cordless drill, 3/8 inch drill bits, and partner saw to terminate standard
IPS conduit sizes. Leave your welder, special adapters and pipe threader at
the shop."
If you are "presenting" something... you should immediatly tell me what it
is... not 2 paragraphs later (and its still pretty ambiguous as to what it
is, but in reading I get an idea of what it is)
Like you might instead want to say:
"Ironhed, LLC is proud to present its Flanged Maintenance Pipe Conduit
Repair System (FMP system). This new and innovative way of protecting your
cabling and conduits is made of rugged 10 guage galvanized steel and with
our new one inch wide flanges, you will find it provides excellent
protection and yet is easy to install and maintain!"
Then maybe go on to a list about the features and then wrap it up with a
sales punch at the end.
BENEFITS:
-- Why is this on a seperate page? Should be on the FMP page... as part of
the list of features (so now it becomes "features and benefits".
-- Again back to the HUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE fonts here
INSTALLATION GUIDE:
-- instructions should always be in point form... so you can go "step by
step". Should have a few pictures too... maybe some closeups and diagrams
SPECIFICATIONS:
-- All these 1 paragraph pages... at this point my eyes hurt. Layout and
white space!
-- Again, most of the stuff should probably be on the FMP page... its all
part of the sale of the item... At this point I look back and think that
your FMP page should be like:
1) Intro to the item and explaination of what it does in 1 good strong
sentence.
2) Elaborate more on the item, but watch out you don't get into listing
stuff in a paragraph
3) Features and Benefits List
4) Now give me the big sales push
5) You've sold me, so now give me the specifications
6) Now tell me where I go to buy this stuff (link to the sales page here,
tell me how helpful and friendly they are, etc)
7) Incase I bought some, give me a link to the Installation Guide here too
FIELD SALES:
-- First, I don't like the look of this page... that pale blue for both
highlighting the office/number and the map...
-- Next, I would say: you should tell me what they do and dont' do here... I
clicked on a few places, some had offics listed and some just had phone
numbers... do these guys come to my office/home to meet with me? Meet me
for coffee somewhere? Or will they give me an office address when I call
them?
-- the "click to find..." text might sound better as: "Click on your state
on the map below to find your nearest Ironhed, LLC Sales Rep"
-- If all the contacts have addresses, I would definitly add them here...
incase somebody forgets or loses it... then they'd have to check back for
it, but only come up with a phone number.
CONTACT US:
-- On this page you should have started with the address for the "corporate
headquaters" and maybe had a small email form (you are using PHP, why not
put in a mail form).
-- Below that, you might have also done a table with all the sales reps
contact numbers
So, thats my take on the site...
If it was me doing the site, I probably would have done something like:
- for the header/logo... I would have probably taken a few pictures of
cabling and their FMP pipe system and done a collage of closeups, faded
out... something that stretches the width of the screen with their logo in
the upper left corner
- Under that, I would have had the navigation bar, probably consisting of:
"FMP" "INSTALLATION GUIDE" "FIELD SALES" "ABOUT US" "CONTACT US" "HOME"
(about us would be a brief history of the company and its founder... what
kind of experience, etc)
- So now I got 5 pages, plus the contact information page... there isn't
much I can say about this stuff to jazz it up, so I would isntead come up
with other content to make it more interesting...
For this, I would probably put a picture on the right hand side of the page
with a caption box below of it of interesting facts... relating to the items
and sales pitch.
IE: on the FMP page you might have a picture of cabling and below that:
"In the United States, XXX Miles of cable is sold every year... thats YYY
feet! Enough to (insert some amazing fact about distance like go around the
world X times, go from new york to LA x times..."
"Cabling typically lasts for X years... thanks to our new FMP cabling system
that could be extended to... "
etc, you get the idea
- ANd I would change the colors too<!-- ~MESSAGE_AFTER~ -->
>> Stay informed about: Critique a friend's website - I can't. 
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